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Saturday, 25 April 2009

smh

Clearly I need a swift kick is the rear for abandoning xanga the way that I have. So much has happened between october and now.... I've graduated and there's a good chance I could be starting grad school in june.. if not june then september.

I'm living at home with my mother (I could write a whole book about that). and me and my boyfriend are still going strong.

In between that though I've been fighting it out with depression and anxiety. It's been some horrible battles but I've been winning the war.

I found a job at an animal hospital.. but the doctor was such a prick that I left.. I mean come on.. you're not going to pay me like crap and talk to me like crap too. I know my worth and I know how intelligent I am. He was extremely lucky to have me... oh well....

I'm about to check on everyone and I promise that I'll try to do sooooo much better.

Monday, 13 October 2008

Soulmates?

"A soulmate is someone who has the locks to fit our keys, and the keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and for who we're pretending to be. Each of us unveils the best part of one another. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person were safe in our paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we're two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we've found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life. "

Yeah that sounds about right....lol.
I didn't even believe in soul mates before I met him. Now I don't believe that there's only ONE person out there that you can make it work with. However, I do believe that him and I were meant to cross paths and I'm happy that we did. Even when he's getting on my last damn nerve... I love him anyway : )

Happy Monday everyone.

Sunday, 05 October 2008

slow down and take off your shades

Well I was walking down the street yesterday to the store.... I had on my hoodie, dark shades, and my ipod...and I was walking at a very fast pace and getting upset with people that were walking slow. I was so irritated that I couldn't even listen to Danity Kane talk about how damaged they are. Then all of a sudden something hit me.... "SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!!! take off your shades, pull off the hood and stop shutting the world out...".. So I did. When I slowed down my pace I noticed that my anxiety went down (which was totally unecessary because I didn't have anywhere to be) and when I took m glasses off I noticed that wow it's Autumn!!!.lol. I know that you guys are like "duh, Je Tuan of course it's Autumn".. I mean I know it is but I didn't really grasp it until I slowed down and took a look. The sun was shining on my face, The trees are so many different colors, and there was a nice cool breeze. The world is truly a beautiful place. If you're like me and you wear those big huge shades on your face all the time, trust me you're not getting a good look at the world.. you're just getting the filtered version and it's not as beautiful. Enjoy it while you're still here.

Tuesday, 30 September 2008

I've got plans for you ; )

Well,
my man's birthday is in late October and I'm going all out because I feel that he really deserves it. I'm making reservations at a romantic lodge in Illinois, I've already made dinner reservations at a really nice restaurant downtown. I'm buying a really nice outfit and something even better to go underneath.. I think he's really gonna enjoy it. He said that no one has ever gone all out for him before and so I plan to give him that, I'm excited...
okay enough about that

I graduate in December, I'm scared of the future and what it holds..lol. But I'm working on that and I'm going to embrace change and be open to whatever comes my way ::sigh::

It's crazy how when you get in a relationship and you're happy, people come out of the woodwork.. smh.. please just cut it out gentlemen..lol. They're driving me a bit nuts, even my ex from when I was 17 is calling me...

Thursday, 04 September 2008

It's been a long time...

I'm soooo sorry for leaving for so long. Okay so here's an update on what's going on in my life...

Well I took Statistics and Biology over the summer, it was complete hell but I made it through.

This is my last semester of school (YAY!) but it's gonna be hell because I'm juggling so many things... here they are:
17 credit hours
Resident Advising
Freshman seminar co instructing
Working for the domestic violence hotline (I've been doing this for months, and it's really rewarding)
I'll also be teaching a course to teen about how to have healthy romantic relationships...

PRAY FOR ME!!!.lol.

I'm still trying to decide what I want to do after I graduate as far as my living situation goes and career wise. I've been looking into grad schools and I've narrowed them down to 3.

ummm My relationship? AMAZING... I'm so in love with him it's scary. I'm convinced that the lord designed him for me. He treats me very well and he's just a wonderful person. I'm looking forward to seeing where our relationship goes. It's funny because he makes me feel like singing "The Truth" by india arie. There's a line in the song that goes "if he ever even left me I wouldn't even be sad. Because there's a blessing in every lesson and I'm glad that I knew him at all". At first I thought that she was a lying fool but that's the way that I feel about him. I feel like he's a gift and regardless of where we end up, I'll never regret knowing him.

okay enough about me.. I'm going to check on you all!